Dear Diary,
You know, I once had a lover. He was my ray of sunshine. The island I belonged to when I felt so lost in life. He was the river that helped me grow and the tree that supported me when I needed someone the most. He was my comfort and my solace.
It was already late when I figured that he was also the ruthless ocean in the middle of a storm, which engulfed me whole—drowning me.
I am now feeling so suffocated. I’ve been crying for hours. My body was trembling, and I’m feeling so exhausted.
I told you last night that we were going on a tour, right? I just got home from that trip I thought would be so wholesome. I was pretty excited earlier this morning because, finally, I’d be able to take a break.
But to my surprise, my abusive ex-boyfriend was there. Phil was there. Turns out, he bribed one of my co-workers to let him join us and pester me on my well-deserved break.
Seriously, I don’t understand. Why was he like that? Why was it so hard for him to accept that I didn’t want him anymore? I have stopped loving him the way I used to. Why does he have to push himself on me?
He followed me around, asking questions and talking to me as if nothing had happened. As if he did not hurt me and everyone else around me.
And do you know what’s more aggravating? He got pissed because I was ignoring him the whole time, so he dragged me in front of my co-workers and asked me why I couldn’t love him back! He had the audacity to ask me why I couldn’t give him another chance.
How many chances do I have to give him when I have already given him my whole life? My heart and my soul belonged to him. But what did he do? He had hurt me in ways I never thought I could endure.
And now he’s asking me to love him back? To love him still? Did he ever really think of me? Does he want me to keep hurting? Does he want me dead? Is that what love means to him?
Because that’s not definitely what love means to me. There’s no way you should die for love; you should live for it instead.
But for Phil? I’ve had enough.
Article: Judy Ann Celetaria
Graphics: Timothy Andrei Milambiling
Comments